Sign over a gynaecologist’s office:
Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix

In a podiatrist’s office:
Time Wounds All Heels

On a septic tank truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

On a plumber’s truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

On another plumber’s truck:
Don’t Sleep With A Drip, Call Your Plumber

On a church’s bill board:
7 Days Without God Makes One Weak

At a tire store:
Invite Us To Your Next Blowout

On an electrician’s truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts

In a non-smoking area:
If We See Smoke,
We Will Assume You Are On Fire
And Take Appropriate Action

On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push.

At an optometrist’s office:
If You Don’t See What You’re Looking For,
You’ve Come To The Right Place

On a taxidermist’s window:
We Really Know Our Stuff

On a fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

At a car dealership:
The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet - Miss A Car Payment

Outside a muffler shop:
No Appointment Necessary,
We Hear You Coming

In a vets waiting room:
Be Back In 5 Minutes. Sit! Stay!

In a restaurant window:
Don’t Stand There And Be Hungry,
Come On In And Get Fed Up

In the front yard of a funeral home:
Drive Carefully. We’ll Wait.

At the radiator shop:
Best Place In Town To Take A Leak

Another septic tank truck reads:
Caution - Vehicle May Be Transporting Political Promises!